What Have I Done: Walking Dead
by Strangerthanstrange
Summary: One-shot: Rick's eyes looked around aimlessly, struggling to find Shane, as he coughed out heavy globs of blood; Main character death, language, small hints of slash, lots of sadness and slight blood/gore


**A/N: So, I haven't written a Shane/Rick story in a while, so heres a brand new one; Shane regrets everything he's ever said to Rick, regrets anything he's ever done; takes place during season two, near the end, the day after they had got in to that crazy fight. Shane came to his rescue a little too late. Read warnings below!**

**Disclaimer: ****I DO NOT own this! I gladly leave it to Mr. Kirkman and all the other lovely minds behind it! **

**Warnings: Main character death, slight blood/gore, language, fluff and hints of slash, lots of sad-stuff!**

**I'll Never Leave Your Side: Walking Dead**

**::**

Shane had no weapon, no knife, no nothing, but he was running, running as hard and as fast as his legs could go. He was screaming out in to the hot open air, trying to alert the brute walker that had knocked Rick over, not that far from the farm, but it didn't seem to work, nothing he did worked, and all it did was contort Shane's mind even more.

Rick was screaming right back, and unwanted tears had built up in the corner of Shane's eyes.

His breathing was heavy and his legs ached, but when he had gotten close enough to grab at the damn walker and attempt to pull it off, that's when truly recognised how badly wounded Rick was.

Rick's old pistol lay in the grass just a foot ahead of Rick; Shane reached for it, gave it a cock, and shoved the barrel of the gun inside the walker's mouth, just before firing, watching the reanimated man's insides explode from the back of his skull, on to the ground below. Shane furrowed his brows and let out a wild groan before hoisting himself up on to his knees, where he could get a better view at the limp body before him;

"YOU FUCK. YOU FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!" Shane cursed and raised the gun, using the butt of the gun to beat the hell out of the walker's already disfigured face. Blood had speckled his face quite heavily, while Rick continued to moan a few steps from Shane.

That had eventually snapped Shane out of his current rampage, and he dropped the gun beside the walker, crawling on his knees toward Rick.

Shane's heart pounded so hard, it began to hurt; he was watching the death of his own best friend happen right before him. The broken man didn't know how to react or what to even say. Rick's eyes looked around aimlessly, struggling to find Shane, as he coughed out heavy globs of blood. Shane swallowed and the built up tears were finally freed from his eyes, falling carelessly down his dirty face, and he reached out to hold Rick's bite.

The brute walker bit him right in the jugular, Rick was pouring blood, tears and blood dotting his face.

"Rick, damnit Rick, I always thought I'd be the one in this fuckin' position, it's my fault, its all my fault, but I am not lettin' you go, I will never let you go," Shane cried softly, and that's when Rick's blood-shot blue eyes met Shane's dark chocolates. Shane could tell Rick was attempting to speak, trying so hard to say at least one word, but all that escaped those cracked lips was blood, blood and more fucking blood. Shane continued to press down on the open wound, and held his head down in shame, letting all of his emotions overpower him. His body was wrecked, his mind disturbed and his chest aching. If he'd have a stroke or a fucking heart attack at this very moment, Shane wouldn't mind, he'd let it consume him.

Rick cried along with Shane, feeling the physical sharp pain, and the emotional pain engulf his very soul, as Shane's touch began to disappear.

Shane wasn't about to lose him, he just couldn't live with himself, no matter how fucking upset he had been with Rick these last few weeks, Rick was still his bud, his sherriff, and always his best friend. Shane cried a river, feeling the warmth of Rick's blood coat the both of his shaking hands.

Shane wasn't really mentally aware, but when Rick continued to groan and whimper like mad, along with using little taps and pushes with his weak, bloody palms against his chest, to get his attention; Shane didn't fail to acknowledge, and with one hand, Shane took Rick's left one in to his own, and aimed his eyes in the direction to where Rick was pointing. The weaker, bleeding man had pointed a finger towards his gun that he had recognized, even with clouded eyes, and that's when Shane's face tightened and tears, more fucking tears squeezed from his eyes, uncontrollably at this point.

He understood what he wanted; he just couldn't bring himself to actually going through with it.

Shane would pull the trigger on himself before he even thought of pointing the damn barrel Rick's way. "Rick, damn you, I won't do that, I won't fuckin' do it, just stay here with me, I'll be here with you," Shane's sobbing became harder if that was even possible, and his voice had cracked time after time.

He was losing his way of speaking, he was losing everything, he was even losing his fucking mind; Shane never once looked away from Rick's lost stare, and he could tell he was losing his fight with death.

Maybe Shane was already insane, or maybe not; maybe he was just so desperate to have Rick again, but when he leaned in to kiss Rick's lips, he could taste blood and bitter salty tears. That kiss was tender and careful, yet very sloppy and messy, but damn, he was going to have this kiss, no matter what a mess it turned out to be.

Rick's eyes shut closed, and tears continued to roll.

His cracked lips had slowly moved against Shane's; Shane still held on to Rick's hand for dear life, and with his only free hand, Rick had reached up, weak or not, and ran his fingertips along his blurried face, and finally Shane's startling bare skull. Shane was lost without Rick; Shane couldn't admit it, never would, but now, he was pouring his entire heart out for Rick, begging him to stay a little longer with delicate kisses.

"Sh-Sha-Shane," Rick had finally acknowledged him with one single word, that meant the entire world to Shane, and a smile had formed across the bigger man's lips, that had slowly removed from Rick's lips.

They cried together, smiled together, and finally, just minutes after that one word, Rick was lightly breathing, and skin, his hot skin was drying up and becoming cold and hard to the touch. Shane was afraid to touch him now, but he never left his hand.

He looked in to his fading blue eyes, hard to do so, as the flood of Shane's own tears completely filled his own, and realised Rick was finally letting go. Shane furrowed his brows, and sniffed like hell; he wiped snot from his nose, and left the tears alone;

"Please don't go, Rick, don't go without me, don't leave me behind, you know I need you," Shane completely begged, the smell of blood strong around them; blood continued to bubble from Rick's wound, and his lips. He never said another word, not even a whimper, no whisper. Shane squeezed the hell out of his hand, anger over-controling and sadness complete torture. This wasn't like any other heart break he's had in his life; those women didn't mean anything to him, as much as Rick does.

No one in his life had meant as much to him;

Rick's eyes fell closed and stayed that way. Shane cursed like a mad-man at the pain inside, and let go of Rick's hand only to stand tall, and scream to the sky.

He still had the bruises and cuts he had obtained from their fight from only a day ago, so had Rick, but now they were covered in blood and salted liquid. He could care less if anyone were to witness; he had to mourn as much as his body could handle.

Shane felt like the biggest loser, the biggest dick, the most hated person in the goddamn world, but he didn't care.

He kicked at the ground, yelled to god himself, and dropped back to his knees in an instant, bringing Rick in to his arms, holding him as close as he could. He gazed in to his closed eyes, used one finger and brushed back some curly hairs, and gave him one last kiss against the cold cheek.

He wasn't going to leave, he was going to wait, wait until he comes back, its all he could really do at this moment, he was losing his mind, he's already lost half; he regretted all the jealousy, the envy and anger he felt towards Rick, he never wanted to hurt him, but he was here with him, its all that mattered.

**::**

**E/N: I had to listen to a few sad songs to make it this sad; I had pictured them in my head and it made it so much harder to write and I'm being truly honest, writing sad/tragedy stories is hard, even I almost cried, well I hope you enjoyed!**


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